I had an ironic conversation in light of my last post. Last night I listened to a guy complain about a girl he had taken out on various dates, but she didn't become his girlfriend. In fact, she ended up dating someone else, to whom she is now engaged.
"She played me!" he lamented.
His reasoning was that she let him take her out multiple times. I asked him if he made it clear that he was interested.
"It was obvious," he said.
Therein lies the problem. Obvious? Maybe to a guy, maybe. This is one of those rare case where words actually do speak louder than actions.
"Did you ask her to be your girlfriend?" I asked.
"Well, not in so many words."
Then what did he expect her to do? Ask him if he wanted her to be his girlfriend? That's a little backwards. That question needs to come from a man, because men lead. If you're not leading, don't expect a woman to follow.
I get the idea so many guys expect a girl to magically be his because he spends time with her. But until the words are out of his mouth, whether he wants her to be a girlfriend or a buddy is not clear. Surely this screams against all logic guys have, but women really are that different. And keep in mind that this isn't a safe world for a woman to be so straightforward-- most have experience with players, guys who get a woman's affection (emotional or physical) only to jump ship every time another woman comes along or things get complicated or inconvenient.
The guy who brought this whole thing up was offended and disagreed with me completely. So I acquiesced with "If you think you're going about the whole thing the right way, just keep doing that." The conversation ended there.