I had a friend in sixth grade named Chastity. Sixth grade was kind of an awkward time to have a name that meant sexual purity. While I wouldn't want to do that to my daughter, I do like the idea of naming a child after a great virtue: Prudence, Faith, Hope, Charity (better to go with Charity, seeing as "the greatest of these is charity."[1]). Were I to name a child after a Christian virtue this moment, I would choose Constance.
Ah, Constance: constancy, steadfastness(2). Not a common name in my own experience. Nor a common trait, but we'll get to that. To begin, why Constance?
First off, you don't meet many Constances. Second, constancy is a subtle trait that doesn't get a lot of press, but I've been watching and am utterly astounded its power. It's a trickle of water to divides a mountain and severs a continent from its coast. It's the steady application of pressure that turns coal into a diamond. It's the relentless love that softens the hardest heart. Constance.
I never before noticed the difference it makes, and never would have had it not been for one particular individual who has demonstrated what the trait looks like in the flesh. While he is perhaps one of the kindest people I've ever known, it wouldn't be half as startling were it not for the constant, steadfastness with which he practices it. His kindness never falters, his concern for people pushes through in all circumstances and at every moment he's on your side. His care is not reserved for his favorites (I've never seen him have a favorite) or the 'beautiful people,' those he really clicks with or those who are always nice, pleasant or kind in return. On the contrary-- no matter who you are, you get the same consistent treatment. Perfect stranger, feisty co-worker, lost soul or that guy, you're obviously worth the same in his eyes.
I saw this individual extend a helpful hand to everyone around him in the middle of great loss in his own life. Not a soul could have known what was happening, because his regard for those around him never faltered, never flickered, never went out. At the same steady pace, he took care of anything in his power for anyone within his reach.
He doesn't strap on a cape and rescue people from bank robbers, knife fights or falling from skyscrapers. He works in a pretty ordinary job, lives an ordinary life. But he makes people feel valued and safe-- safe from judgment or condemnation or contempt. No need to feel foolish, he'll make a point of seeing your side of things. What a relief it is to know you can approach him at any point and always receive the same genuine welcome! That you can ask any question or offer any suggestion and receive a well thought out reply from someone who at least tries to understand where you're coming from. He's on your side, he really is. Just like Jesus.
Inspired by his example, I want to live with that kind of stable response to people so they will feel safe, appreciated and able to voice their honest opinions without fear of some kind of retribution or defense.
There's a problem, however. In order to be that consistent, a person must be genuine. Nobody could respond so well every dang time unless it's who they are. And I'm too quick to respond or retort, too defensive, sometimes failing to listen to the matter fully before making a judgment. It's not that I don't care or lack real concern for people. On the contrary, I'm often so concerned I want to beat them over the head until they see sense. And therein lies my weakness. It's hard to just be available should they choose to listen. I want to make their decisions for them and be done with it.
This lends itself to inconsistency. Sigh.
Mr. Constance doesn't do that.
Oh, I'm sure he does. He's not perfect, I've seen his faults with my own eyes, felt their sting. But his very character is to care, to reach out, to know, even when it requires getting past awkwardness or uncertainty. He doesn't shrink away from such trivialities, not as a rule. When all is said and done, he is consistent enough for me to encapsulate his character as such, with lapses into the fallen human condition. I suppose this is the key and the measuring rod, for if it were the other way, that every now and then he was kind, constancy would fail to be his virtue.
Anyhow, he's human, but never ceases to inspire me. This man's actions are simply supernatural. If I'm having a lousy day, I can look to him, patiently continuing as he has before and will continue to do, come rain or shine, death or life. Certainly I can go on, treating people with dignity and respect without a return on the investment.
Constance.
Ah, Constance: constancy, steadfastness(2). Not a common name in my own experience. Nor a common trait, but we'll get to that. To begin, why Constance?
First off, you don't meet many Constances. Second, constancy is a subtle trait that doesn't get a lot of press, but I've been watching and am utterly astounded its power. It's a trickle of water to divides a mountain and severs a continent from its coast. It's the steady application of pressure that turns coal into a diamond. It's the relentless love that softens the hardest heart. Constance.
I never before noticed the difference it makes, and never would have had it not been for one particular individual who has demonstrated what the trait looks like in the flesh. While he is perhaps one of the kindest people I've ever known, it wouldn't be half as startling were it not for the constant, steadfastness with which he practices it. His kindness never falters, his concern for people pushes through in all circumstances and at every moment he's on your side. His care is not reserved for his favorites (I've never seen him have a favorite) or the 'beautiful people,' those he really clicks with or those who are always nice, pleasant or kind in return. On the contrary-- no matter who you are, you get the same consistent treatment. Perfect stranger, feisty co-worker, lost soul or that guy, you're obviously worth the same in his eyes.
I saw this individual extend a helpful hand to everyone around him in the middle of great loss in his own life. Not a soul could have known what was happening, because his regard for those around him never faltered, never flickered, never went out. At the same steady pace, he took care of anything in his power for anyone within his reach.
He doesn't strap on a cape and rescue people from bank robbers, knife fights or falling from skyscrapers. He works in a pretty ordinary job, lives an ordinary life. But he makes people feel valued and safe-- safe from judgment or condemnation or contempt. No need to feel foolish, he'll make a point of seeing your side of things. What a relief it is to know you can approach him at any point and always receive the same genuine welcome! That you can ask any question or offer any suggestion and receive a well thought out reply from someone who at least tries to understand where you're coming from. He's on your side, he really is. Just like Jesus.
Inspired by his example, I want to live with that kind of stable response to people so they will feel safe, appreciated and able to voice their honest opinions without fear of some kind of retribution or defense.
There's a problem, however. In order to be that consistent, a person must be genuine. Nobody could respond so well every dang time unless it's who they are. And I'm too quick to respond or retort, too defensive, sometimes failing to listen to the matter fully before making a judgment. It's not that I don't care or lack real concern for people. On the contrary, I'm often so concerned I want to beat them over the head until they see sense. And therein lies my weakness. It's hard to just be available should they choose to listen. I want to make their decisions for them and be done with it.
This lends itself to inconsistency. Sigh.
Mr. Constance doesn't do that.
Oh, I'm sure he does. He's not perfect, I've seen his faults with my own eyes, felt their sting. But his very character is to care, to reach out, to know, even when it requires getting past awkwardness or uncertainty. He doesn't shrink away from such trivialities, not as a rule. When all is said and done, he is consistent enough for me to encapsulate his character as such, with lapses into the fallen human condition. I suppose this is the key and the measuring rod, for if it were the other way, that every now and then he was kind, constancy would fail to be his virtue.
Anyhow, he's human, but never ceases to inspire me. This man's actions are simply supernatural. If I'm having a lousy day, I can look to him, patiently continuing as he has before and will continue to do, come rain or shine, death or life. Certainly I can go on, treating people with dignity and respect without a return on the investment.
Constance.
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