The students on my team swear. I supposed that's kind of a 'duh' statement. High school kids, around their friends, often do. It's not a regular habit, and I don't bother checking it when they do because, frankly, if they're going to swear, I'd rather just let them. Why make them pretend just because I'm around? That's behavior management and it doesn't deal with the heart of the issue, just the symptoms. Besides, I don't personally have an issue with the occasional "@#$%!"
Then a mom came to practice. She was waiting for her kid, who was dancing with us. And one of my boys missed a step and muttered, "shit!"
"Watch your language," Mom immediately said.
Hmmm.
I wonder if I'm supposed to be running interference on the cursing. But honestly, I don't find instances such as the above disrespectful. I think there's a difference between rudely dropping inappropriate comments-- of any kind-- and letting a bomb drop here and there away from populated areas.
This came up after a separate dance class as I was talking to two ladies, one with children of her own. They were both very clearly of the opinion that part of my job as coach is to staunch the flow of any sort of foul language. The way they talked about it, it wasn't just an opinion, it was an assumption of the obvious. "You're an adult. Of course they shouldn't be allowed to swear around you."
Did I miss something? Granted, at 16, I and most of my friends, just didn't really swear. So hiding it from adults wasn't really a thing. But I did know kids our parents just adored, because they were so darn sweet and polite, who were little hellions whenever Mom's back was turned. And I prefer the kid who drops f-bombs in front of me to the kid who plays nice to my face only to present his true nasty little self to his friends.Why is nastiness so bad but nastiness plus deceit so virtuous?
So that's my opinion on the matter. Let people be exactly who they are. I'm not shaping these kids-- their parents are. Which brings me to the crux of the matter: these are not my kids. And most parents seem to be very concerned about how their kids present themselves and that presentation tends to preclude a no swearing rule. The common denominator is no cursing. Nobody is going to be offended that I don't let the kids use foul language. But turn that inside out and someone could be very offended.
I don't know what I would do with my own kid, but I suppose that's not the question right now. The question is what will I do with the rather grave responsibility of someone else's kid? Maybe I should be playing a part in shaping their self-control...
Damn.
Then a mom came to practice. She was waiting for her kid, who was dancing with us. And one of my boys missed a step and muttered, "shit!"
"Watch your language," Mom immediately said.
Hmmm.
I wonder if I'm supposed to be running interference on the cursing. But honestly, I don't find instances such as the above disrespectful. I think there's a difference between rudely dropping inappropriate comments-- of any kind-- and letting a bomb drop here and there away from populated areas.
This came up after a separate dance class as I was talking to two ladies, one with children of her own. They were both very clearly of the opinion that part of my job as coach is to staunch the flow of any sort of foul language. The way they talked about it, it wasn't just an opinion, it was an assumption of the obvious. "You're an adult. Of course they shouldn't be allowed to swear around you."
Did I miss something? Granted, at 16, I and most of my friends, just didn't really swear. So hiding it from adults wasn't really a thing. But I did know kids our parents just adored, because they were so darn sweet and polite, who were little hellions whenever Mom's back was turned. And I prefer the kid who drops f-bombs in front of me to the kid who plays nice to my face only to present his true nasty little self to his friends.Why is nastiness so bad but nastiness plus deceit so virtuous?
So that's my opinion on the matter. Let people be exactly who they are. I'm not shaping these kids-- their parents are. Which brings me to the crux of the matter: these are not my kids. And most parents seem to be very concerned about how their kids present themselves and that presentation tends to preclude a no swearing rule. The common denominator is no cursing. Nobody is going to be offended that I don't let the kids use foul language. But turn that inside out and someone could be very offended.
I don't know what I would do with my own kid, but I suppose that's not the question right now. The question is what will I do with the rather grave responsibility of someone else's kid? Maybe I should be playing a part in shaping their self-control...
Damn.
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